Dating a woman who is bisexual
For a while, I wasn’t really sure why I’ve been with more guys than girls when I’m attracted to both sexes equally, but I think I’ve finally figured it out: it’s because I’m kind of afraid of women. I have minimal experience with women, leaving my confidence a bit lower with them. As someone who’s highly confident usually, it’s hard to feel like a little kid again. There’s a weird stigma to bisexuality: you’re not quite gay enough to feel totally welcome in the gay community and you’re not quite straight enough to feel like you fit in with straight people.
Because of this, I worry that I’m not “gay enough” to date another woman. I don’t really have the same fear about dating men (that I’d miss women).
I have numerous female friends who think they swing both ways simply because the idea of kissing another girl doesn't totally repulse them.
One of my friends in particular finds it necessary to grab my face and plant a wet one on me every time she has had too much to drink.
Her response was: "I knew you were too good to be true."I then fell all over myself in an effort to explain to her that, although I was unsure about how to define my sexuality, I was definitely into girls, more so than I'm into guys.
I am not and have never been bi-curious, bi for attention or bi only when men are around. I blame the bi-hatred on the rise of girls I will call "Facebook Lesbians." These are chicks you see on social networking sites and in clubs and bars getting touchy-feely with their platonic girlfriends to get attention from men.
And that just sucks because it either means I have to get over it or I can tell her and see what happens (which I’ve yet to have the guts to do).
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It is what it is, but I fear going out with a woman and having her think I’m not gay enough to date. I’m privileged to live in Boston, Massachusetts, a very liberal state. I worry that taking home a girl for a holiday would result in a totally different reaction than taking a guy home. This is difficult to admit and it’s not really something I’m proud of, but I find most men fairly easy to manipulate. I don’t want to lose my straight-passing privilege. I know what I’m doing sexually, I don’t have to fear homophobic judgment wherever I go, and I don’t have to worry about people asking me if I have a boyfriend when I actually have a girlfriend. A big fear I have is that I open up to a woman romantically on a deep emotional level and I totally get my heart smashed to bits. With women, our emotions play a huge role in addition to our complex anatomy. “She said I’m cute, but did she mean cute cute or just cute?
Unfortunately, there are still homophobic bigots everywhere. I think at this point, my grandparents know that I’m bisexual because I dated a girl for a while. Manipulation is a habit I’m trying to break, but if I want to flirt with a guy and pick him up, I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve. With women, it feels like trying to nail jello to a tree. In a very real way, I’m afraid to give up the passing privilege that comes from dating a man, even though I’m bisexual. ” Like, are you flirting with me, or are you being friendly?
She's assuming I have no problem kissing her because I'm gay.
But the fact is, I don't want to kiss her because she's my friend and not my type.
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Or I could not let go and own it.""Everyone told me: ' You cannot do this.' I had played opposite Nicolas Cage [in one movie], and in another I was playing opposite Johnny [Depp]. It served a function as an umbrella for marginalized people to whom rights were being denied, but it loses its efficacy because of the nuanced nature of humanity.