Boundaries in dating how healthy choices grow healthy relationships

What the children are likely to learn in this situation is that boundaries don't matter, that indeed they, as individual human beings, don't matter except where they are useful for the emotional needs of others.

As they grow up in their families of origin, they lack the support they need from parents or caregivers to form a healthy sense of their own identities. In fact, they may learn that to get their needs met they must get their way with others.

They make it possible for us to separate our own thoughts and feelings from those of others and to take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.

Boundaries are part of the biological imperative of maturation as we individuate and become adult people in our own right.

They wall themselves off in their relationships as a way of protecting their emotional selves, and, as a consequence, will, in all likelihood find it difficult to form lasting close interpersonal bonds with others in adulthood as they are still trying to individuate from their parents.

The exception in this is of relationships predicated on the same rigid rule based structure as their family of origin where nothing came into the family or out from it, but in this case the bond is likely to be enmeshment.

They would have at best, a hazy sense of their own personal boundaries, not able to properly define where they end and the other begins.

They would in all likelihood grow up with fluid boundaries, that cause them to swing between feelings of engulfment on the one hand and abandonment on the other inevitably leading to dysfunctional relationships later on in life.We are, all of us unique, and boundaries allow us to rejoice in our own uniqueness.Healthy intact boundaries are flexible, they allow us to get close to others when it is appropriate and to maintain our distance when we might be harmed by getting too close.The pain of their own childhood experiences repressed for so long is felt again, insisting that these experiences be dealt with, relegating the present needs of the children for safety, security, respect and comfort to second place at best.But sometimes because of what they represent and the negative self worth of the parent the child can be perceived as the 'enemy' and so dysfunction is passed on from one generation to the next.

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Emotional boundaries are crucial in helping us to enjoy healthy relationship and avoid unhealthy or disfunctional relationships.

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